You Know You're a Redneck If...

[ellanoize]

1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.

2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.

3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.

5. You think the "Nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive.

6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.

7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.

8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.

9. You come back from the dump with more than you took there.

10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.

12. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.

13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.

14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.

15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program!

16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.

17. You have a rag for a gas cap.

18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.

19. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.

20. You can spit without opening your mouth.

21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.

22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip"
on the side.

24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Walmart.

25. Your working TV sits on top of your non working TV.

26 You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.

27. A tornado hits your neighbourhood and does a $100,000.00 worth of improvements.

28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.

29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty
30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph.

And Last, But Not Least...

31. Someone tells you that you've got something in your teeth, so you take them out to see what it is!

[cherrysis]

OMGAWD!!!
ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!
I did #25 for real
hahahahah
and only one channel worked OMG

hey but that was years ago and I have know eye deer ho u r or what ur talkin bout!!!

[ellanoize]

Just 994 more times...

[cherrysmum]

*ROTFLMAO*...ok inhaler time.hahahahahahhahahaha those are the funniest redneck remarks I've seen yet. Now how do I print them?

[cherrysis]

I call ME Like I see ME!!!

[The Lady Belle]

OMG..#3 fits me. and the boat hasnt been in water for 15 years too.

I think my husband would love to turn redneck if I let him...

[cherrysmum]

I printed them...I printed everything...Belles avatar...everyones comments...crap...I did the blue highlight thingy..and it looked right on the preview..but noooo...everything printed...but at least I have the redneck list

[cherrysis]

I am so PROUD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Lefty]

After the blue highlight you still have to click on the "print selection" dot in your print screen. Took me a while to figure that one out myself way back when I switched from DOS to Windows. Like so (but then with an English version of Windows):

See? The second dot of those three bullets in the middle? The first one selects everything. The second only what you have highlighted. And in the third you can decide which pages of the document you want. Like 2,3,7 etc.

<font color="#a62a2a" size="1">[ September 25, 2005 08:42 AM: Message edited by: Lefty ]</font>

[cherrysmum]

K and thanks